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Carly Witwicky Drops A Huge Bomb
Deep Space - Paraplanar You are now above (so to speak) the Milky Way Galaxy. Looking below you you see millions and millions of stars. One of those tiny specks is the Sol System, home to the humans. Above you is a gigantic expanse of pitch black night. Nothing is up there save a few points of light that are other galaxies. EARLIER, ON THE ARK... The Autobot scientist Zorich shows Carly his newest invention- a gravity time bomb. "You know Carly, if you flew to that unmanned Decepticon space station and activated this gravity timebomb, it would probably finally get Bumblebee super interested in you." He puts the bomb in a big box and slides it towards her. "Also, fun fact about me, my shuttle mode is large enough to accommodate a moderate amount of cargo or passengers, and I was last active around 1996." He takes a huge swig of enerscotch to kill the pain. PRESENT DAY... The Decepticon space station Blaquehole has been empty for a while now. After the rest of the galaxy decided to declare war on the Decepticons, the station's crew was redeployed to Charr. It's the perfect placeto plant and test a gravity time bomb. EARLIER... Carly strokes her chin, thinking what else was about in 1996. She nearly recalls Dawn, but then is snapped out of any attempts at good parenting by the comment. "That is hardly good enough motivation, that is pretty shallow of you to even say that" she chides, but takes the bomb anyway. "Oh, Zorich," she says, noting that the drink the scientist is swigging contains undiluted Nucleon, which only passed Cybertron FDA due to bribery and corruption. "...nothing..." NOW... It is lucky that Zorich has a shuttle mode, because this is what Carly Witwicky is piloting towards the Decepticon ship, after Zorich passed out unconscious from whatever it is he is drinking. As Carly doesn't have space_pilot, it would be unthemely for her to pilot a shuttle, so she just whispers the directions in Zorich's robot-ears, and hopes his horrible zig-zagging course will do the rest The space station is purple and hexagon shaped. It seems like the defense systems are deactivated because none of the space lasers attached to the hull are shooting Carly and Zorich to death. As the better Witwicky approaches, she spots a docking bay labeled in lighter purple letters: DOCKING BAY 1 Well there's one thing every interplanetary roadtrip needs -- music! Fortunately being from 1996 Zorich has a tape deck in his console. Why? Why not. Since when did accessories in this franchise make absolute logical sense? What's important is its there and that means Spindrift has been in it the entire time, providing appropriately themed background music for the trip. Carly sits back in the swivel chair, the bomb carefully balanced on her lap as she sorts though some better cassette tapes to play. They all seem to be Bon Jovi. As the shuttle nears the space station, she taps the control panel. "Okay, Zorich, you can dock in bay 1." There is a snoring from the controls The shuttle hurtles towards the docking bay without stopping Luckily for the Autobots, the Decepticons have to deal with this sort of thing fairly regularly, so as the shuttle fails to dock correctly, the Idiot Proof failsafe kicks in. Two large grapples take hold of the ship and drag it to the docking bay. THe airlocks connect and the door opens. "Welcome, Blueshift." An automated voice greets as the entire ship is sprayed with blue foam in case it was on fire. "... It's sad that they gotta have protocols for that sorta landing," Spindrift's voice murmurs from the console. Followed by a click and the orange cassette is popped out of the slot. In utter defiance of conservation of mass or other proper physics the tiny relic from the 80s transforms into an armored quadroped a bit larger than a human. Though because of the way an armordillo's body is postured his face is more or less at eye level with Carly. Spindrift unfolds into an armored mechanical armadillo. Carly coughs, dusting herself off and picking up the packet of pear drops that she let tumble to the floor. Luckily the floor is pretty clean. She also remembers to pick the bomb up, which has now started flashing and beeping. She holds it out to Spindrift. "I think we should put this somewhere and then get out of here. Do you want to hold it?" ".. Is it suppose to be beepin' already?" Despite one of his listed functions being 'Demolitions' Spindrift doesn't actually know much about bombs other than his personal launchers. His demolitions is more akin to 'knock it down like a self propelled wrecking ball'. "I think hurryin' along might be a good idea though, ayup." Freezeout is not sure why she was sent on this mission. SOME TIME AGO... "Well, Freezeout really botched that thing where she was supposed to keep Air Raid out of trouble," Red Alert says. "I think she could stand to learn a lesson or two. Now, where did I put my duty rosters..." NOW... Freezeout eyes the bomb warily. "Yes, let's go quickly, please." "Beepin'? Eh, it depends on the bomb. Me, personally, I like a good beepin' bomb. The more it beeps the better it blows, I always say," Wheeljack replies to Spindrift, his ear-nodes blinking as he speaks. He finishes packing a small satchel and, instead of putting it in subspace like most magical transforming space robots would, he slings it over his shoulder. "Alright! This is gonna be good, heh." Carly pokes her head out of the shuttle door. "Oh, good, there's an atmosphere outside!" She keeps the bomb hugged to her chest with one arm, and with the other hand, offers around the pear drops. "Pear drops?" "They musta had the guys with guys in their heads here before, if its got air to breath." Or that's the best sense Spindrift can make of it. With a shrug of what must be shoulder joints under his armor he trundles out of the shuttle and down the ramp. "Okay, so we gotta bomb. Just gotta find somethin important to plug it on, yeah?" The hangar of Blaquehole houses three small Decepticon shuttles and a few administrative offices. At the far end of the hangar there is a large elevator. Against a nearby wall there is a large container with a sign above it labeled "Spraypaint Storage: PLEASE DO NOT USE." There is also a very curt sign on the elevator: "No idiots on the important second floor." "I'm not really sure what this is about," Wheeljack replies, walking after Spindrift and Mrs. Witwicky, "Carly just told me there was a bomb and a Decepticon base. Sounded like vacation so I tagged along." He fiddles with one of his shoulder launchers, locking a weird looking shell into place as he walks along. Spying the literal writing on the wall, Wheeljacks ear-nodes begin to glow faintly, which means he is about to talk, "Heh. Who decided to waste a perfectly good bomb on this dump?" Told you so. Freezeout moves out of what she hopes is the firing range for Wheeljack's shoulders. Carly puts her pear drops away, secretly heartbroken that no-one wants any. "I think we're just supposed to test this bomb, and as this is both a Decepticon base, and probably deserted so no-one will be hurt, that's as good a plan as any." She looks at the doors. "This is suspicious. Do you think we should go through the ventilation shafts instead?" Spindrift says, "Consider it gettin' rid of trash we don't want the Cons to get back," Spindrift replies to Wheeljack's question. When the inventor starts messing with his launcher the dillo-bot quietly moves a little farther to the side and makes sure his forcefield generator is on standby." "Wait, there's nobody on this base?" Repugnus says as the animators start drawing him into the scene. The poor Monsterbot looks crestfallen as he tags along behind the other Autobots. But he quickly brightens up when he sees the container that no doubt has tons of spraypaint cans in it. "OOOH!" He swings the door open to see what's inside. Repugnus discovers tons of spraypaint. On the inside of the container door there is a messaage: If anyone messes this place I will sting them in the face. -Buzzkill There are also several vents, if folks preferred air ducts over elevators. "Well... no." Carly pouts up at Repugnus. "I would hardly be carrying round a bomb if there was any chance it could hurt anyone. Pear drop?" She shoves the packet of pear drops in the direction of Repugnus "Ah, Repugnus, you might wanna stay outta the--" Wheeljack starts saying (through his ears) before Repugnus just breaks in anyway. "Ah well, can't win 'em all. What kinda spraypaint did the Decepticons leave behind?" He approaches Repugnus, launcher clicking into firing position. He sees all of the spraypaint and the vents and stuff and just stands there. "I'm just along for the ride here. We'll go wherver Carly wants to go, she's got the bomb." Carly points at the ventilation shafts. They look like a very uncomfortable fit for a giant robot Repugnus squees a bit at all the spraycans, but Carly's pear drop packet briefly distracts him. "Eh? Oh, sure, I'll have all of them. Gotta stay regular, ya know!" And he gingerly stoops over to snatch the packet from her, tears it open, and flings it up into the air to catch with his mouth. He eats the entire thing loudly and in about two seconds, packet included. "Mmpffflrargh toof latef Fwheeljack," he says as he turns back to rummaging through the spray cans. Gulping loudly, he pulls a few selections. "All kinds! You got your straight up colors... metallics... primers... textured paints... heh, this is the one that makes it so your walls are slightly abrasive!" He sprays a wall with it randomly, and it's covered with that horrible popcorn texture that's all the rage in apartment buildings. "Hm... but which one is best for obscene graffiti?..." He doesn't seem focused on the mission at all. Spindrift looks at Carly. Looks at the vent. Looks at the other Bots poking around the lockers. Looks back to Carly. "Well, maybe we oughta just go while they're plottin'.. ways to mark turf?" He grabs the grating to the vent with his claws and pulls it off so they can get into the shaft proper. Then waves Carly towards it. "After you, madam" Pug will also notices the administrative offices on the other side of the chamber. MAYBE THERE IS INTELLIGENCE THERE. Also, there are motivational quotes posted all over the place. The observational mech would notice that they are all things Shockwave has said. The airduct, meanwhile, is a good fit for Carly and Spindrift. There is a light from a second floor access panel just ahead... Carly is crestfallen as Repugnus eats all her precious peardrops. There is a mission though! She gives the thumbs up sign to Spindrift and throws the bomb into the air vent so she can climb after it. With a huff, she hefts herself into the vent, peering into the darkness. "There better no be any spiders in here!" she calls back. Carly has 96 COU. The remaining 4 points are due to spiders. "Hey, there's a light here, could you do that bowling ball thing?" "Sure thing. Just get down for a moment." Crawling past the human to get a clear shot, Spindrift curls up into his armored ball and lets his internal gyroscope do the rest to give him enough spinning force to tumble forward and knock the panel off. The panel comes right off. There is a satisfying ricochet sound when it happens. Like a 'kerrchang' Repugnus's optics go wide at the prospect of looting for intel. And yet... when he sees all the motivational posters and everything else he could vandalize, he seems conflicted. "Nnnnh." He grabs some spraycans and gets to work! First, he starts with Buzzkill's note on the container door. He uses a violet spray on it to change the message from--well, let's just say that now it's less of a threat and more of a proposition. Then he starts going through all the motivational posters. A poster of a Seeker dangling from a cliff with the caption "Hang in there, brave Decepticon!" has that caption changed to, "Broken anti-grav? Sucks to be you!" That's far from the only poster he vandalizes, and he takes cruel delight in radically changing the message of each one, like one poster featuring Shockwave's face, which says, "Victory is logical!" is changed to "Primus dammit, *I* wanted to be leader." And that's pretty tame compared to some of the other things he sprays onto the posters, slowly but surely making his way to the offices. Spindrift rolls right out of the shaft after the panel and uncurls to land on his feet. "Open says-a-me, or however that goes." Carly winces away as Spindrift thunders past her and smashes off the panel. She clambers after the tape and squeezes through the hole in the panel. "That's teamwork!" she says, and then pauses. She is stuck halfway through the panel, head and arms hanging out of the end. "Oh. How embarrassing." Freezeout has been hanging toward the back of the group, looking around for horrific Decepticon eating patrols, and frowning in a sort of embarrassed way at Repugnus's everything. "Carly-- are you okay?" she asks, when Carly gets stuck. Carly strains her arms against the opening of the vent, but to no avail. The bomb attached to her belt starts to beep a bit louder, though it is muffled by being in the tight space. "I'm fine!" she calls back. Too many pear drops :( Repugnus' spree continues unabated until he turns a corner- and comes face to face with SHOCKWAVE, towering over the Monsterbot menacingly. Things just got real. Meanwhile, Spindrift and half of Carly find themselves in a large room, which appears to be half lab, half storage facility, and half personal quarters. The decor scheme is purple hexagon. At the far end of the room there is a rather strange piece of 3D holo-art... Spindrift glances back when Carly complains. "Just a moment lass." He wraps the end of his tail around her and gives a few light tugs to try and pull her free. "Next time, don't eat so many lemon drops 'til after the mission." Wheeljack decided the administrative offices were a way better use of his time than spraypainting or crawling through vents. He steps into the offices and immediately begins going through drawers, cabinets and wastebins to see if he can find anything useful ("useful" is a different concept to Wheeljack than it is to most sentient beings). "Lookin' good out there, Repugnus!" he says with encouragement. Repugnus cackles at Freezeout. "What, don't like it? Watch this!" He spraypaints onto the wall a depiction of two humans who seem to be, shall we say, enjoying each other's company. A lot. Then he goes around a corner, cackling until he sees who's in front of him. Thinking fast, Repugnus uses the weapons most immediately available to him--the spraycans! He takes a gold glitter spraycan and a nauseating green/brown spraycan and blasts them both at Shockwave's optic. "Guys, are we sure this place is abandoned!? Because Shockwave's standing RIGHT THERE!" he yells. Freezeout's face at the new drawing is one to behold. She reins it in, though, owling her tone down a notch: "Don't draw Chip Chase like that. It's mean-- Shockwave?!" The diplomat gets her cryo-beam rifle out, but holds her position, because really what the hell does she know about using a rifle on a Shockwave? "Thanks Spindrift, you're a pal!" Carly calls back as Spindrift's tail wraps under her arms and wrenches her free. There is a horrible, horrible crunch as Carly's right arm dislocates, and she lands in a heap on the floor, getting to her feet and staggering about. But she doesn't swear. Swearing is bad. "Oh... FIDDLESTICKS!" she says through gritted teeth as she clutches her useless arm. She then looks up at the holo-art and claps her hand to her eyes instead. Repugnus successfully strikes Shockwave's face with spraypaint! Retaliating, Shockwave does...nothing? Actually, he hasn't even moved since Repugnus ran into him. He's actually a statue. A very, very perfect replica. Wheeljack is finding all sorts of stuff- tons of random pieces of junks, projects that were halted halfway through and disgarded... Office after office of sketches of weapons and the kind of stuff that the flea market guy leaves behind when he goes to sell his junk. And there's even some junk. "Aw man, this is great! I need to go get a cart!" Wheeljack exclaims, his ears casting a cobalt glow on assorted Decepticon passive aggressive office sticky notes. The stumpy engineer jogs back to the shuttle, kicks a bunch of important food and medical supplies for a relief mission to a human space station off of it and starts pushing it back towards the offices. "I might even find somethin' for Pipes in here!" He begins piling objects onto the hover-cart, such as a phase inducer with a pink note on it that says 'Clean your leftovers out of the refrigeration unit Cyclonus' on it and some EPS Coils that say PROPERTY OF CYCLONUS G. DO NOT TOUCH, THIS MEANS YOU CYCLONUS M! on them via a green sticky note. "Sorry? You gonna be okay?" Of course Spindrift worries about the human first, because that's what most Autobots would do. Most. Can't say all with Repugnus somewhere nearby. "Let's get that bomb set somewhere and scoot, this room looks pretty important enough don't it?" What being something between lab and storage and all. Freezeout is moving to help Repugnus when Wheeljack nearly runs her over with the hovercart. "What did you find, Wheeljack?" she asks. "...and are you still alive, Repugnus?" Repugnus blinks up at the statue. "It's inanimate!" Then he whips out his Venom Laser, sets it to "Kill", and fires it at the fake Shockwave's head. "If only destroying the REAL Shockwave was so easy, nyahahahahaha!" And, providing nothing weird happens, he'll just walk away from the statue. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks Spindrift" Carly says politely, doing her best not to cry. "C-can we just put the bomb on something now and go?" She looks up at the art. It doesn't look much like Shockwave. Thanks to vision confirmation technology, the 3D holo-art realizes that it is being looked at, and a terrible song begins to play to compliment the piece. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw2rNbiMj6Q The holo-art, by the way, is a rather strange looking mash up of what appears to be a Shockwave/Buzzkill hybrid. On one of the desks, there is a giant document with the title 'Reasons I Hate Scattershot.' There are a lot of them. Against the other wall is a flatscreen monitor with an image of a cloudy blue sky playing. The phrase 'Scorn sucks butts' dances through the clouds in a classy font. When Repugnus shoots the statue, a recording plays: "Buzzkill, save me!" Shockwave says in a voice that sounds oddly like Buzzkill doing a Shockwave impression. "Hey who are you guys?" A small and skinny Decepticon carrying a broom asks Freezeout. The music activated in Buzzkill's lab begins blaring on the station's loudspeakers. Spindrift looks around the room again, then points at a seemingly random piece of equipment. "Put it by that. It has a lot of fancy buttons and blinking lights and switches, that usually means it's important! And important stuff always blows up better than non important stuff." Freezeout regards the Decepticon with the broom. She has an Autobot sigil right there on her shoulder, and she is holding a rifle. There is an awkward silence for a moment. Then Freezeout holds her rifle up to the janitor's face. "Why the hell are you here?" she asks, forcing a curt and angry tone that goes only kinda-okay with her Swedish accent. "This station is hosting a war game and all of you /idiots/ were supposed to be off it two astro-cycles ago. Did command not send you the memo? Typical. Get out of here. We're the Autobots in this exercise, and any minute now the Decepticon side will arive, and we'll be using /live/ ammo -- the kind that blows up stupid janitors who don't know where they're not supposed to be." "Well, probably nothing you'd be too interested in, Freezeout," Wheeljack admits, "... but it seems like these Decepticons had a lot of contraband mixed in with their office supplies. There's some good stuff in here!" He continues loading up the cart with junk, doodads and red staplers. He looks up at the monitor. "Heh. You sure told whoever Scorn is, cloud-guy. You got 'em good." He pushes the cart back out, which is overflowing with what is just plain garbage (though it doesn't smell that bad) and sees Freezeout and the Custodialcon. "Uh..." "Okay!" Carly tries to push the bomb up onto the console, but doing it one-handed is too hard, so she uses her face to push the bomb onto the equipment, running over all the switches as she does so. Mentally she wonders if they should really blow up a base with such great taste in music. "Nearly got it, nearly got it!" she calls to Spindrift. "Nearly got it - whoa!" She slips and falls down, the bomb landing on her head. Spindrift cringes as Carly has difficulty with the bomb. But when it falls there's a flash of pinkish energy and while the bomb does bounce off her head, there's a forcefield between the actual bomb and the actual skull off the human. Good thing someone with a forcefield was present! With a grunt Spindrift picks up the bomb with his forepaws and shoves it back towards the console, the forcefield dropping again. "Just lemme put that back in place for ya." Repugnus pauses as he takes in everything that's happening. The song. The statue begging Buzzkill for help. The petty jabs at a rival female. "BAHAHAHAHAHA--nkkkk--BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He clutches his sides, helpless with laughter. "Freezeout... it's a... it's a... it's a shrine to Buzzkill! Made by Buzzkill hahahaha..." In happening to look in the general direction of the Janitorcon. "Hahaha... oh shit... someone kill that Decepticon before he sounds an alarm! Wahahahaha!" The Decepticon janitor stares at Freezeout. "A...A war games? Gosh. Well, no one tells ol' Wetjet nothing." He sighs. "Story of mah life though, you know? Anyway, ya'll have some great disguises. Scared the bahpreemus outta me!" He points at Repugnus. "What with the senseless looting and vandaling... and THAT guy looks JUST LIKE Repugnus." He claps his hands together twice. "You know, the real Repugnus shoved a broom through mah exhaust port once. Not this broom, Ah got a new one since then. Anyway, look at me talkin ya'lls processers off in the middle of a war games! Ah guess Ah just git lonely sometimes. Anyway, Ah'll just head out." Wetjet waves, and saunters towards one of the shuttles. Meanwhile upstairs. the boom activates. The timer starts counting down from 48 hours... Freezeout leans in to Wetjet's face and blinks her mechanical eyelids, mark of a true robot freak. "Good," she sneers, her voice as icy as the terrain she's built to cross. Only when Wetjet is well and truly gone does she lower her rifle and let out a long sigh, clearly not having enjoyed a moment of that. "Yeah, go team!" Carly lifts her right arm up to 'punch' the air as she clambers to her feet and down the steps to level 1 where the others are. "Wheeljack, can I sit in your wheelbarrow?" she calls. "I'm not feeling well." "Hey, Repugnus, no one's gonna kill the Decepticon!" Wheeljack interjects, but by the time he works out the rest of his noble speech in his head, Wetjet leaves on a shuttle. "Oh. They have shuttles! Right!" He quickly pushes the cart over to a shuttle and produces a space-wrench, but then he hears Carly's plea. With sadness in his ears, Wheeljack says, "Yeah, Carly. Of course you can sit in my wheelbarrow. Make yourself comfortable," he says, lowering his hand to the ground to lift Carly up to the cart. Repugnus grabs Freezeout's shoulder, still clutching his side with his other hand as he snickers helplessly. His face leans in towards hers, right in her personal space. "Heheheheh, oh damn, that guy's right, I did put a--" Wetjet's still in earshot. "I mean Repugnus DID put a broom up his waste port, snap it in half, and leave it in there! Poor bastard! Snnnnghkkk. Oooh, think I'm better now." He dusts himself off. "Oh, come on, guys! That guy looks like he has barely any armor. I bet Carly could shoot him to death, uh, if she has a gun. Someone gave her a gun, right?" "'nk you," Carly mumbles as she climbs into Wheeljack's wheelbarrow of garbage, clutching her dislocated arm. "Thank you Wheeljack, it is very comfy." She has no idea what she is sitting on. "I do not kill people," Freezeout says to Repugnus, cordiality and disgust battling in her tone. "Don't kill people!" Carly suddenly pipes up, having only been half-listening Zorich sort of wakes up at the docking bay from his drunken sad haze. "Is the bomb planted? Can we go? Fun fact about me, I have no faction preference, but offer my services to the highest bidder." Meanwhile, the shuttle piloted by Wetjet takes off and leaves without incident. Repugnus glowers. "FIIIINE." He switches the setting on his Venom Laser to PARALYZE PAINFULLY. "I'll just stun him and put his broom up his--ah, nuts." He scowls as he watches as the shuttle departs, with a potential torture victim safely aboard and getting away from him. Once he's got the bomb in place Spindrift follows Carly back to the others. "If you two are done with the lootin', the bomb's set. Let's get outta here and watch the fireworks from a safe distance." Wheeljack pushes Carly in his hovercart back to the shuttle, which is super interesting Freezeout also walks back to the shuttle, frowning all the while. Being around Repugnus seems to bring that out in her. For some reason. Who knows! Once everyone is onboard, Zorich takes off. "Well, let's head back to Earth. Look, I don't have a lot of friends, and...Well, what I guess I'm trying to say is... Thanks for being inside me, you guys." Meanwhile, Wetjet flies away in his shuttle. "War games. Shut the front door, but that sounds cool. Still, Buzzkill told me to call her if anyone showed up. Guess Ah better give her a rangy dangy." Repugnus thinks for several moments, then goes, "OH CRAP!" He rushes into the intelligence offices, rummaging through everything and causing a horrendous racket. Furniture goes flying out the door. Eventually, Repugnus emerges with a big stack of cyberpapers in his hands. They may or may not contain vital information. "Wait for meeeeee!" he cries, running for the shuttle, trailing loose cyberpapers behind him. Repugnus floats through space after the ship. Repugnus says, "Shiiii--" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oksBULzKKo Decepticon Message: 2/120 Posted Author LOCKED TO BUZZKILL Tue Aug 06 Wetjet ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's...WETJET, Decepticon janitor! He's flying a small escape shuttle. "Hey there Buzzkill, it's me Wetjet. Just to let you know, since you done told me to tell you if anyone showed up at the Blaquehole space station, to tell you...that they done did showed up. Anyway, some Autobots done did showed up. And they went and planted a bomb and it's set to go off in 48 hours. So Ah hope you don't have anything valuable in there, and if you do, you've got a plan to get it all out. Anyway, hope yer good. Bye!" He waves for a while until the recorder times out.